Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "He's just my stalker."

fallen_mods (fallen_mods) wrote,
@ 2007-12-20 15:25:00

Fallen Leaves Guestbook
Non-players, community watchers and random passers-by, feel free to leave any comments/questions/suggestions here. We writers would all be delighted to hear what you think of us. XD

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	Love the Sound when you come Undone maresdrake 2009-05-17 11:23 am UTC (link)
	Fantastic! Loved the writing, their motivations..... will try to say more later. Quickly, though -- I think you'd get some interesting answers from your readers if you asked a question (maybe in OOC) something like: Who do you think is acting like the bigger ass, Genma or Kakashi, and most importantly, why? (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Love the Sound when you come Undone -

fallen_kakashi, 2009-06-06 05:02 pm UTC

Love the Sound When You Come Undone
(Anonymous)
2009-05-17 12:16 pm UTC (link)

Awesome thread. I have a suggestion though. Maybe stick a NC-17 warning on the main comm as well (like on the title...)? Lol, wry amusement abound when I saw the warning on the OOC comm after I finished reading the actual thread. Not that I have a problem with NC-17 but others might...And it was a bit of a shock (not a bad shock mind you, but a shock nonetheless; I rolled with it).

Anyway. I don't have anything more to say that's useful. Hee. Have nice a day :D.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Love the Sound When You Come Undone -

fallen_kakashi, 2009-06-06 05:04 pm UTC

Love the Sound When You Come Undone

y_sanada
2009-05-17 07:04 pm UTC (link)

I always figured that Kakashi was usually on the receiving end when it came to sex and it usually involved chakra pills and/or adrenaline and was rough (fast and hard). And we all know that Genma sees sex as a weapon/tool, a release, and definitely something to savor and enjoy. But having read Genma and Kakahsi's history, I never saw this one coming.

Kakashi wanting to be punished (and the momentary release from conscious thoughts that orgasm brings) and Genma wanting to punish him by not doing it the way Kakashi wanted ... what an interesting plot.

Even though Genma hadn't "played" fair during their encounter and had inflicted damage to Kakashi, I thought it was a bit over the top for Kakashi to punch Genma in the end. After all, he was a comrade and he had helped Kakashi reach the release he was looking for.

Very well written. I really like the way both of you write your characters. You could see the sheer stubbornness of two shinobi trying to get the upper hand. Even though Kakashi was willing to give up control (even remove his mask) as part of his "punishment" he still wanted it to be done "his way" which meant he still wanted control of the situation. Genma was thoroughly enjoying the control that Kakashi gave him and determined to take it further. Getting the upper hand and taking control of a situation -- signs of a good shinobi.

Too bad they can't get over their own guilt about their ill-fated mission together. Both are good people (one better at showing it than the other) and great shinobi. Considering what they have been through at the hands of others, they shouldn't be fighting their own over an unfortunate event that both wished had never happened.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Love the Sound When You Come Undone -

fallen_kakashi, 2009-06-06 06:28 pm UTC

Love The Sound When You Come Undone

maresdrake
2009-05-19 07:35 am UTC (link)

The writing as always, was mind-blowing -- image-intensive, with fantastic dialog. And the mental internal dialog lends so much more depth to the characters. Kudos for trying really hard to balance out the "assery" committed by both Genma and Kakashi.

(I actually much prefer everybodies' more romance/friendship/sex arcs, like the current Genma/Raidou torture arc, or Ryouma/Kakashi's nightclub arc (WOW!) However, the brainfog often prevents me from commenting adequately on such long, intense, complex, and emotionally compelling arcs, while "Undone" is also fascinating but *short*.)

Nezu is showing an unexpected talent for little sadistic streaks in her characters (Ibiki is a given, and now Genma?) but it certainly makes that end of the story more creepy, realistic and interesting.

"'Son of a bitch,' he snarled, ducking until his forehead pressed hard against Genma's collarbone, and yanked his mask down." *Loved* that. Vivid, telling --- only Kakashi could make acquiescence an act of defiance. As Genma thinks, And not meek submission, but hard won, cursing, furious submission. Those were my one and two favorite lines.

Some of the best descriptions of one character are from the other's view: "The tension in Kakashi's hamstrings, and the tendons in the tops of his feet, telegraphed his desperation. The head posture, throat bared...the taut shivering of his abdominals silently begged for more."

There is humor in so many unexpected places: [Kakashi wanted this sex]..."Especially with someone who hated him. If lightning struck Genma, Kakashi didn't have to care." (It was also a real nice psychological Kakashi-style point. For me, that added about 50% of the logic/sense for Kakashi to initiate the encounter.)

Brilliant depiction of two alpha dogs circling, feinting, and snarling for dominance. None of that extreme (and irritating) seme/uke stuff. There's past history and bad blood between them, dislike and distrust and jockeying for power.

Cut to bare bones, it seemed to me thusly. Kakashi made a simple request made of a fellow ANBU -- fuck me. Hard and fast was implied ("Just fuck me like you hate me.") Within his capabilities after coming in from a brutal mission, Kakashi then catered to Gemna's demands as far as he could bring himself to -- dropping his mask, and releasing Genma's hands.

Here's where, for me, Genma topped Kakashi in the "assery" department. Because Genma wouldn't give Kakashi the simple hard fast fuck he asked for and needed. No, Genma was going to do it gently, but *NOT* because he cared for Kakashi and didn't want to hurt him. Motivation is everything, here. Genma was going to be gentle and artful simply to be contrary and selfish, to do things on *his* terms, and to exert his domination over Kakashi. To Genma's credit, he realizes that he's taking a kind of sick pleasure in using Kakashi's needs to demand submissions from him. Genma realizes there was...."Something frighteningly off-kilter about the way that hint of a plea in Kakashi's voice sent a thrill racing through Genma's chest." (Real nice touch, there, when the characters have insight into their own reactions.)

A reasonably caring, perceptive (Eros trained, after all) older-and-thus-allegedly-more-responsible fellow ANBU should have given Kakashi the hard, fast fuck he asked for (Ok, demanded with non-existent courtesy. I never said they weren't BOTH asses.)

But ---- for Genma to have tried gentle and arty from pure intentions would be a different story. We already have plenty of lovely angsty true-comrade threads that I adore, so the non-Genma/Kakashi thread lends a real-life balance and contention to Fallen Leaves. (Besides being a rip-roaring good story with loads of psychological baggage.)

My third favorite line: " 'Thank you,' he said, low and soft, and punched Genma solidly in the jaw." Love the irony. Perfect conclusion to the warring elements of the story. (And a not unwarranted punch, either, considering Kakashi's request was reasonably simple and straight-forward.)

Somewhere, in the distant future, you think there might be a Genma/Raidou/Kakashi mission with poor Raidou in the middle trying to keep the two from killing each other? (In a purely fraternal sense, of course.)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Love The Sound When You Come Undone -

fallen_kakashi, 2009-06-06 09:21 pm UTC

Re: Love The Sound When You Come Undone -

fallen_kakashi, 2009-06-06 09:24 pm UTC

fallen_tsume
2009-05-20 11:21 pm UTC (link)

Hey, guys! I read the Gen/Rai arc at long last, after putting it off because I had the sneaking suspicion I'd end up reading it all in one sitting. I was totally right! Score one for me!

...and three hours eaten up. DAMN YOU BOTH.

WOW, you two. I think that might very well be the best arc I've read here to date. Everything was perfect, from the fight scenes to the torture--oh, MAN, that was well done. Not so horrible that I went numb to it, just horrible enough to make me flail and still believe they managed to get home.

Which reminds me! They managed to get home! I was stunned at how well you managed that, making me really believe that their injuries were ungodly, but they made it anyway. I have an awful tendency to lose track of injuries, but every one of these seemed accounted for, just as awful as it should be, and yet I could believe that they had the reserves to get home anyway. Invariably in anything I read I think, "No way could they manage that," or "Didn't they have x injury? Woudn't it be affecting them now?" There was none of that this time; I totally believed that they had every injury they sustained, and still made it back.

That staggering run home--holy crap. That was awful (in a totally good way). And when Sano reappeared, that was so terrifying, and I loved their solution. No drawn out fight here, which I really appreciated because they would SO lose.

And the confusion when they get back to the hospital -- I think that might have been my favorite thread in the arc, even though they weren't together for most of it. *laughs* If someone had told me you could hold my interest for 18 tags in a hospital thread where the two main characters don't even SEE each other until the last tag or two... I'd have laughed. I read the whole thing with bated breath, half wibbling, with this soft, haunting feeling to the whole thing.

OH! And that's another thing! Angst without emo! This was brilliantly done throughout. We had lots of conversations last year about what constituted emotional strength and angst vs emo and all sorts of stuff, and it's seriously hard to keep from crossing that line from angst into emo (I, myself, am guilty of that, and threads lately--including ones I'm in--seem to be brushing close to that border for my comfort), but you two totally managed it here. I walked away going, "These are INCREDIBLY, UNBELIEVABLY strong guys... who have angst. POOR GUYS! I want to hug you and love you and tell you it'll be all right and I'm SO rooting for you!" Which is exactly what I want. *grins* Instead of, "Yeah, yeah, you have bad injuries/memories/emotional issues/etc. We know. Enough already." In a thread like this, the latter is really easy, but there was none of it! NONE AT ALL! *dances around!*

Something else I really liked was how well you merged tags, both in keeping them from going back in time to cover what x was doing during y's tag, but also in the ways you incorporated what (for instance) Raidou was doing within Genma's tag. I don't know if you just know each other's characters well, or if you were doing a lot of, "What would he be doing here?" but it bridged that disassociation between characters during tags -- a disassociation I don't normally notice, except sometimes when I go, "Surely x character would have said that and y character would have responded, but the tag is still going," or "x character has been talking for a while-- is y character just standing there?" There was none of that feel ever, and it was specifically because of the way you incorporated each other's characters into the tags. Well done.

This is, by far, the best thing I've read on here. I am SO impressed. *GRINS MADLY*

JB

(Reply to this)

Knife's Edge

maresdrake
2009-05-27 08:17 pm UTC (link)

Oh, goody, partnerships! And subtle humor: "...Still had all his limbs, too. Only a few mental problems. Maybe an addiction or two. No one knew about those, though..."

Humor is pretty hard to do on those deadly serious, kill 'em all missions.

Ryuichi needing a trigger to *fight* is a fascinating hook. It's strange how we are slaves to our own natural biological chemicals, so I'll be interested to see what happens with his unauthorized bottle.

I don't know: maybe I *can* see Ryuichi calmly tapping his partner's shoulder as they're being charged by a wave of enemy nin, and saying, "I'm going to need you to haul off and hit me, now."

*Nice* touch, for Katsuko to rescue Ryuichi's pills before the medics found them, and to have only a vague notion why she did it. Good protection-of-partner instincts.

I like Katsuko's monster chakra and multiple clones, and her past traumas and chakra-control damage.

(Reply to this)

Knife's Edge Arc
(Anonymous)
2009-05-28 01:30 am UTC (link)

My reaction to this arc can be summed up quite simply. Duuuuuuuuuuude!

Yeah, I was really surprised by this arc. You see, I didn't like Ryuichi at all when I first read his profile and read his first few threads. I found him annoying and just rude, brazen, just a beserker who tries but can't really do anything interesting or cool.

But you know what? This last arc has convinced me of Ryuichi's depth of character and amazing screwed-upedness. The way you describe the effects of the drugs on his fighting and thought patterns, his depth of dependence and the reasons behind his behavior.

I absolutely loved and hated the way you kept hinting at everything! You can't just say something like "He’d been strong, but it hadn’t saved him from the enemy’s genjutsu or Ryuichi’s kunai" and not explain it! What about Ryuichi's kunai? He killed him, didn't he. See what I mean about hinting at stuff? I start guessing because I can never leave something like that. I need details!

I really liked the way you depict the separation between chunnin and jounin. Chunnin are expendable, jounin are not. I hadn't thought of that so in depth before. Most people's characters have some kind of special power, be it bloodline or other super-power, but Ryuichi is just average. Kudos for not taking the easy way out and making him very, very human.

I really like the interaction between Ryuichi and his girlfriend. Its not really obvious on the surface, but then one of them says something and its apart how much they care about each other. Kind of makes me want to bang their heads together because they're both so screwed.

Congrats, you've earned another Ryuichi fan!

Now, for Katsuko. I'm still getting to know her, and although I feel that she still hasn't had a true opportunity to shine, I do like her. Her behavior in that thread with Kuromaru and Tsume was priceless. The idea of the too-large chakra is actually something I've never considered.

She's still finding her space in ANBU, but I like how she's developing. Protecting her teammates, even if she doesn't exactly know why she's acting the way she is-the way she hid the pill bottle and sat there waiting for Ryuichi to wake up. If anyone can beat some sense into some of the more screwed up ANBU agents *coughcough*Ryuichi*coughcough* I bet Katsuko could.

Here's to Katsuko! Good luck keeping Ryuichi in line!

~Schwimm

(Reply to this)

RYUICHI AND KATSUKO
(Anonymous)
2009-05-29 07:10 pm UTC (link)

Wah! Ryuichi! And Katsuko! And lookie, Ise again! :D

They're daring and desperate and bloody and I love them. Ryuichi rocks my socks clean off! And Katsuko--she's just pure win. And they're just--ah! I'm on the edge of my seat the entire time! It's awesome and fascinating and I just can't stop reading fast as I can to find out what happens!

Of course, the problem with that is: I reach the end too fast!

But somehow, I get the sickening feeling of mortality....that either one of those three is going to go down to a bloody shattered death soon. o.o I hope I'm wrong, though.

<3
Suz!

(Reply to this)

Ibiki/Kiba thread

dimestore_romeo
2009-05-30 02:53 am UTC (link)

Oh, wow. <3 <3 <3 I completely and utterly loved this. It was so much fun to see Ibiki out of work - I like that his work and his private life are completely separate. He is such a goof - this is a really new characterisation of him, one that I've never seen before, and I completely love it. He's so casual, he doesn't wear black and HE HAS HAIR. It's great that he doesn't know what to do when a pretty girl talks to him, and the Captain Kunai shirt was so cute. I liked that Tsume was being mom-like - I mean, we know that she's a mother, but we never really see it. It showed a whole new side to her personality.

...I kind of got the feeling that Tsuma thought that he was into unsavoury practices with kids. Or was she just wary of him because of the last time they met?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Ibiki/Kiba thread -

fallen_tsume, 2009-06-24 11:43 pm UTC

Raidou/Genma arc

fallen_katsuko
2009-05-30 08:49 pm UTC (link)

Much overdue review, coming up!

Hmm...Raidou and Genma are two favorite characters of mine on this community, and this latest arc only confirmed that. Their relationship and mutual dependency is, again, highlighted and beautifully portrayed in this thread. Their knowledge of each other's triggers and their efforts to keep the enemy from using them is excellent.

The descriptions of what happened to Yukaho and her team understandably made me wince, and only heightened my antagonism towards the Mist ninja. Raidou carrying Genma almost all the way home and their face-off with the Sagao(?) was suspenseful.

The hospital thread was sweet. If grown men threatening to leap out of their beds in their backless hospital nighties and terrorize the hospital staff if they didn't find their partner now could be called sweet.

Overall, Genma and Raidou come off as flawed, damaged characters who know their weaknesses and overcome them anyways, defeating impossible odds not for their own survival but for that of their partner.

The one minor quibble I had was that the Mist-nin seemed very much like all the other enemies/targets the ANBU at Fallen Leaves have faced so far. Monstrous, pitiless, twisted...almost too much for the ANBU to handle but not too much. Sagao(?) was quite scary, but the ANBU face off against quite scary people every day.

I'd like to see an antagonist who lasted more than an arc or a thread, and perhaps took a few (more than three) of the agents' effort combined to bring down. Like Shiki and his cohorts, yeah.

I guess it's like...there's a lot of threads/arcs like this--probably not, but it feels like it, and although they're all written intensely and suspensefully, I'd like something different that involves all the players as a whole. A village-wide event that effects each of the characters in a different way, maybe? I dunno.

That said, though, this thread made me want to learn more about what will happen with Genma and Raidou's relationship, and the repercussions for them both.

A very nice piece of work, you two.

Peace!
Ash

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Raidou/Genma arc -

fallen_ginta, 2009-06-11 06:17 pm UTC

The Ryuichi one-shot with Ise

fallen_katsuko
2009-05-30 08:56 pm UTC (link)

...Fade, they're so cute.

I

I

I just want a Ryuichi and Ise for myself. Because they just give out waves of cute. Maybe I could kidnap them...

This different side of Ryuichi...The tenderness and fierce love that he doesn't think Ise returns but she actually does...agh, words cannot describe the "awwwwwwww" face I made. It shows a loving person behind the stubborn, cold Ryuichi.

Hard to believe that Ryuichi on a mission and Ryuichi with Ise are the same person, actually. Fade, you've got a talent for writing characters

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: The Ryuichi one-shot with Ise -

fallen_katsuko, 2009-05-31 09:32 am UTC

Re: The Ryuichi one-shot with Ise -

fallen_ryuichi, 2009-06-05 10:05 am UTC

Fall From Grace

muffinmadness
2009-06-04 10:33 am UTC (link)

*WIBBLES*

Oh good Gods you guys!

The interplay between Natsumi, (who by the way I think I'm in love with...~~and I may already be collecting ideas for pickys of her~~) and Asuma is brilliant! I love how totally and completely not at all annoyed and in love with Asuma, nosir Natsumi is. And for Asuma's part, how he's just delighting in being himself, and of course having a pretty lady around helps too :P

And the descriptions of the bad guys! And the river! And Natsuni's HAND. Oh Natsumi, I just want to hug you up and love you forever! The way she still carries herself with poise and grace, and how damn strong she is *wibbles into a puddle of love*.

The red headed woman was spectacularly creepy, and Asuma's ending of her was EPIC!

The fever was so well handled, and I loved Asuma's day dreams, totally not seconded by me of course *coughs*.

And the MONKS! Oh the monks, they are so...monk-like. And the junior monks all ogling Natsumi *sniggers*. And the Abbot...I want him as a Granddad, why is he fictional!

Wonderful, just utterly wonderful! *Takes many a hat off to both of you*
<3 <3 <3

Soph xxx

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Fall From Grace -

fallen_natsumi, 2009-06-09 05:05 pm UTC

	Scarlet Spiral (Anonymous) 2009-06-07 11:03 am UTC (link)
	Is it possible that I can find the threads that were on scarlet spiral? I just discovered fallen leaves and I love the stories. I would love to see where they evolved from. Thanks CIM (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Scarlet Spiral -

fallen_mods, 2009-06-07 01:04 pm UTC

Fall to the Ground.

silvercaffiene.livejournal.com
2009-06-08 11:44 am UTC (link)

Oh my god.

I am stunned. I can't figure out what to say...
I should have written here sooner, to tell you guys how great the entire arc was - it was, undoubtedly, great.

The crashing of Ginta and Kakashi together, truly, as though they were bound by karma - it was amazingly rendered and portrayed.

I would've spent some time to go fish out all the amazing bits and details that I always love so much, but there are far too many. The entire arc, from when Kakashi asked the first questiom, "Who?" to until Ginta and Kakashi confront each other, the apology, the frantic run and escape, the abattoirs, the safe-house, the epic treating of wounds and infection...

Everything was amazing. It's like high-grade sushi - it renders people speechless.

But here I am, re-reading the last few posts, utterly and completely shell shocked.

Ginta - is he really dead? The grief that will come, the horror, the aftermath, and perhaps, the wake... Or perhaps naivety and hope will ring through and he - Ah, I do not know. I don't want to hurt my brain by contemplating this.

All I can say that the moment I read
One-hundred and three, I was moved to tears.

Truly, this is ANBU. Truly, this is amazing writing. Truly, this is the stuff that moves people. Oh my goodness, the way everything coalesced to this fine, shimmering point where everything just happens, and omigosh I don't know what to think.

I'm confused, I'm shocked, I'm amazed at the level of writing, and all I can say is that the writing in this arc was so real. The emotions and desperation, the fevered trashing and fighting against everything - it was all too, too real. And Ginta - his death - it felt like something very special had left the world. Broken or not, it's gone, and I think, that only truly amazing writers can make readers feel this way.

It was beautiful, heartrending, painful, and a joy to read and experience.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Fall to the Ground. -

fallen_kakashi, 2009-06-08 04:51 pm UTC

Re: Fall to the Ground. -

silvercaffiene.livejournal.com, 2009-06-09 12:36 am UTC

Re: Fall to the Ground. -

fallen_ginta, 2009-06-11 06:26 pm UTC

NARUTO
(Anonymous)
2009-06-09 12:48 pm UTC (link)

I was wondering what the general consensus of ANBU in Fallen Leaves canon think of Naruto (the kid). The reason I brought it up was because I realized that Genma and Ginta lost family and Kakashi lost a mentor and crush. Others lost teammates, family, and friends during the Kyuubi's attack. I just wanted to know what people think of him (mostly, I want to know what you think Kakashi feels about the boy that if things had been different, would have been his family)

THANKS

(Reply to this) (Thread)

fallen_natsumi, 2009-06-09 05:01 pm UTC

fallen_kakashi, 2009-06-09 05:31 pm UTC

fallen_ginta, 2009-06-09 07:19 pm UTC

fallen_tsume, 2009-06-24 11:45 pm UTC

	Ginta!!! (Anonymous) 2009-06-09 04:53 pm UTC (link)
	OMG, I'M DIEING FOR MORE! WHENZ THE 1-SHOT GOIN UP?! (Reply to this) (Thread)

fallen_kakashi, 2009-06-09 07:12 pm UTC

Fall to the Ground
(Anonymous)
2009-06-09 08:21 pm UTC (link)

A few random thoughts:

As much as I've immensely enjoyed the last few story arcs involving Kakashi, there's nothing quite like Hatake Kakashi in full avenging angel!rescue mission mode. It's these missions where I feel he achieves his most perfect mission focus and yet where Obito's lesson weighs on him the most heavily.

Set against the backdrop of their already grievous physical injuries, what hangs in the air between Ginta and Kakashi is made all the more poignant in that the 'what might have been' and 'what already is' still can hurt them more than what their bodies have already suffered. Despite Ginta's pain, despite the major fuck up of the mission, it is Kakashi that he's still focusing on, the touch of his hand on his hair, the catch in his words.

Kakashi's fleeting thoughts of Ryouma throughout were wonderfully quiet and heartfelt - a moment of clarity amidst the chaos, reminiscent of Haruichi's single thought of 'oh Hoshi' in Come Hell or High Water. The fact that he can admit these thoughts to himself without flinching speaks volumes of how far the two of them have come.

The desperation in that final push home was mesmerizing. I felt like I was running *with* them, stumbling when Kakashi did, pushing on after he got up. I love how beyond any and all expectations he just keeps *going*, outrunning the enemy jounin even injured and carrying Ginta, even after run an 18 hours to get to Waterfall in the first place, pulling jutsu after jutsu. In the end I feel that it is not his Sharingan nor his genius that really make him ANBU's so-called golden boy, but his iron will and his self-sacrifice for his teammates. That depiction of his new combination of Minato's flicker with translocation was epic, and I hate you both for cutting away in those last few scenes!

I am continually impressed by the quality of writing here on Fallen Leaves. Some of the lines ("half a breaking heartbeat") bordered on poetry rather than prose. The pacing of the escape from the warehouse and the long journey home left me literally breathless. Kakashi's and Ginta's confrontation was nuanced and painfully *human* - Ginta's pain at a teammate lost, his frustration at Kakashi's stubbornly inescapable martyr complex, Kakashi's defensive bitchiness and his following peace offerings (peach and mango! he knew!). I love how all the writers here can weave such complex relationships and create such palpably real personalities while still maintaining the grim reality of the world that is ANBU.

Please post the aftermath threads soon. I'm dying in an agony of suspense!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Fall to the Ground -

fallen_ginta, 2009-06-11 06:37 pm UTC

Death and all his Friends

silvercaffiene.livejournal.com
2009-06-11 08:42 am UTC (link)

There is something to be said about very convenient time differences, I think. (If I have thought this out correctly, since I seem to be reading things quite soon after they're posted, yet no one else seems to have commented.)

I read Death and All his Friends a few hours after it was posted, when I got home. (sorry for the late comment. :<)

Okay, so as usual, I check Fallen Leaves for daily epic-ness. Then I see that it's posted. Then I go SQUEE.

You see, before even reading the oneshot, I was thinking 'There is a limit on how much awesome can be produced in a week. They have just blown that limit through the roof.'

:D :D :D -Onto reactions on the actual thing!-

Time, even, for a grim faced agent from ANBU's mission control to arrive and set himself up in the corner of the room with recording devices.

Okay --> This made me go oooooh~, because it seemed so efficient, ordered, and utterly professional. ANBU, Konoha, the Hospital. The proceedings feel like they have been put into use and perfected through time, effort, and a whole lot of personnel. And it shows, because in one paragraph, you've captured the very essence of Konoha and her operations, the way things work around shinobi and their lives hanging on a string.

Somewhere in the hospital's bowels, someone, some team, was still trying to create a soldier pill that didn't silently destroy clotting factors while it boosted life force.

Epic. Epic!!!! All the details, again. Stuff like this makes this oneshot feel so layered, and full of depth. As ever, this really is a world, not just a scenario. :D

They stripped him, cutting clothing and armour off of him. The blood-drenched things landed in sodden piles on the tiled floor, a problem for housekeeping. They slapped seals on his bare skin at key meridians, at the direction of the Hyuuga chakra specialist. They poured fluids and painkillers and chakra into him, and blood. So much blood.

Okay - the problem for housekeeping bit - I loved it. It was simply such a perfect sentence, such a perfect piece of information. This whole chunk of love let me see everything happening, and man, was it amazing. The detail and pure dimension to this oneshot is really, really striking.

They'd said to expect two.

My heart almost broke at this, because I really thought that Ginta had died. :<
Not to mention that the sentence itself was dripping with some sort of apprehension and taut, keyed-up nervousness.

It would probably have been a mercy to let him go.

Mercy wasn't what they were here for.

SQUEE~ Firstly, hope rekindles! But oh man, this oneshot is awesome, because it gives us a look at the other side of things. Gives us a peek at what its like to watch these people come in, desperate and dying, and try to piece them together.

He had a chance. Both ANBU had a chance. And the man in grey, recording it all, wouldn't have let the medics quit even if it had been hopeless.

Whoa~~~ The mere sight of the word 'chance' makes me go into bouts of glee and relief. Also, one cannot deny the sheer love that is this sentence. 'wouldn't have let the medics quit even if it had been hopeless' --> Whoa. Whoa. I dunno what to say, save that this bit kinda hit me hard. The feeling of something heavy, like a weight, I guess?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Death and all his Friends -

silvercaffiene.livejournal.com, 2009-06-11 08:46 am UTC

Re: Death and all his Friends -

fallen_ginta, 2009-06-11 06:44 pm UTC

	kotszok 2009-06-11 05:21 pm UTC (link)
	Guys. Guys!! The new Ginta and Kakashi thread, woah shit!!!! Blew me away. the one thing that struck me was the awesome pacing in the first part in the factory. I seriously felt like I was watching an action packed movie, SO IMPRESSED RIGHT NOW GUYS. woah. Generally really awesome, I like the tension between Ginta and Kakashi, so fun to read! (Reply to this) (Thread)

fallen_ginta, 2009-06-11 06:46 pm UTC

Death and All His Friends
(Anonymous)
2009-06-12 08:17 am UTC (link)

At twenty-eight minutes after the call came in, the second team finally arrived. The second patient had been down, they said, since they'd reached him. He'd had a pulse, then lost it. They'd gotten it back. He'd crashed again. He had a hideously open fracture of the right tibia. He was septic as all hell, from a puncture wound to the left thigh. He'd been tortured, someone said.

I haven't read their mission so far so you gave me a huge heart attack here. I THOUGHT GINTA WAS DEAD! FOR A WHOLE MINUTE! Until I forced myself to continue reading. My poor little heart has calmed down again, but seriously if you have killed him off I would have been a very unhappy reader. He is one of my favourites, although I don't comment very often on him. *scratches head* So probably you don't even know that.

And I love that you show some more of Konoha than just ANBU. ANBU is great and all, but this gives FL a whole new dimension, what I really appreciate. Like the quarter master in one of the first Asuma threads. It gives the readers so much more to see and makes the world more realistic. Like a book just with more writers.

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Re: Death and All His Friends - (Anonymous), 2009-06-12 08:18 am UTC

Lullaby for a Stormy Night

silvercaffiene.livejournal.com
2009-06-13 12:27 am UTC (link)

She rose from her bed, took the dark blue, crested kimono Suki offered her, stood while Suki wound a pale green obi and a black cord around her waist, then reached for a comb and pulled her long silver hair into a bun. Suki knelt at her feet, buttoning white tabi at the ankles.

Well, if this wasn't the perfect way to introduce and capture the whole essence of a woman who's had to deal with her beloved being ANBU, then I'm a tomato. It's so refined, and composed, as though this ritual of making herself presentable is a way to prepare herself. It probably is, since propriety dictates that she has to be presentable, right? :<

He looked older and wearier than Chihiro remembered him.

This kind of rusty feeling of time kinda seeps into here, and it feels a bit like a sepia tinged deja vu. After all, it's almost like history repeating itself, at least, in the events that take Chihiro-san here, with Shiratori. And it speaks so much about the things that never change, and the constant death that ANBU, and those around them, face.

Chihiro closed her eyes, smoothed her kimono, and steeled herself to hear that her grandson was dead.

*whimper*

*makes strangled noise at back of throat*

This simple sentence made me go spinning to Somewhere Far Away, because it is such a beautiful, beautiful sentence. It rocks. Enough said, because Chihiro officially became the most WHOAH ANBU next-of-kin. EVER. Because, whoa. The smoothing of her kimono, and the anticipation, the grim determination not to lose her footing - ARGH THIS IS A WONDERFUL SENTENCE.

Chihiro folded herself onto another cushion slowly and carefully, sweeping her kimono skirts under her knees with a lifetime of grace.

Man. Well, enough said. Some things transcend circumstance. Or perhaps, are underscored by the situation. :D I loved this line. The whole feeling of it made me go all tingly. :D

Also, the little bit on Ginta’s childhood is so lovely. I mean, purple splotches? So very Ginta. Not to mention the fact that the innocent whims of childhood are rather backlighted by a far less innocent lifestyle, for the Ginta in the here and now.

Pale straw-colored tea sloshed over her age-gnarled knuckles and dripped onto the dark silk covering her kneeling thighs.

Man. You’ve managed to get all ages of emotion, and jam pack it into one sentence. A lifetime of watching ANBU, a lifetimes’ worth of feeling – it’s here, all in one sentence. The poise of Chihiro spoken by her posture, and the tea, spilling over hands... it’s amazing. So apt, so restrained, in a sense. So very fitting.

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Re: Lullaby for a Stormy Night -

silvercaffiene.livejournal.com, 2009-06-13 12:28 am UTC

Re: Lullaby for a Stormy Night -

silvercaffiene.livejournal.com, 2009-06-13 12:29 am UTC

After the Rain

fallen_ryuichi
2009-06-13 07:43 pm UTC (link)

It's kind of funny, but a friend of the family wrote a book with the same title as this thread way back when. And like the book, your thread showed that even when it's over, it's not really over.

The characters bounced off each other really well, and this was one of my favorite lines:

Consciousness slammed Raidou like a kick to the head

Just....Raidou, though and through. I often have problems with showing and not telling, but wow. Dark, you did a great job. And this goes to everyone else. I'd defiantly glad you posted this!

And Hiro's struggle over lying to Genma. That stuck with me. I hope you guys have something planned with that.

Finally, I'm glad Rikuto isn't dead. It gives the opportunity to write more fic about him ^^

(Reply to this)

Why haven't I heard of this earlier?!
(Anonymous)
2009-06-20 12:20 pm UTC (link)

I randomly stumbled upon this comm through being bored and somehow clicking on so many links that I couldn't have retraced my steps even if I tried.

And I can honestly say I'm gobsmacked. This is brilliant!! It's EXACTLY what I've always wanted to read! And the writing urgh its breathtaking!!

Having just finished the two Tsume and Asuma threads (which I picked mostly because they didn't seem linked to too many other things, and also because I recognised the characters), I can see that sleep is not going to be something I'm going to be doing very much over the next week or so, because I will be reading all of the other threads.

But anyway, back to the Pirates vs. Ninja arc; WOW. The interaction between the characters was fantastic; and now I really want to know what happened to Tsume to make her chakra be all messed up; and Asuma's previous mission!

When I started reading I was overjoyed that the writing style was so (for the lack of a better word) mature. RPG's tend to be riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes but this one is just a joy; it's like reading a novel. I had no issues with believing that the events described were all real and I could picture them vividly in my mind. I sort of blame you for the nightmare I had after reading the first thread; I think it was the whole not being able to hear and to see thing. Gloriously imagined and scary as hell! I think the most important thing was just how realistic you made the characters; I never really considered the person behind the mask before but I will definitely not look at ANBU the same way again!

Another thing, since I'm apparently having issues with keeping this review short and sweet, I was somewhat shocked but definitely impressed about the way you wrote of Asuma's and Tsume's capture. I really didn't expect such a plain account of what happened... People tend to gloss over the possibility of torture, and I'm pleased you didn't (despite it being deliciously terrifying); you definitely write without pulling any punches and whew I feel emotionally drained after reading that! I felt like I was living through all of the events right by the character side, hell, I laughed, I cried, I worried like a madwoman and boy was I relieved when they got free (by the way Tsume turning into a wolf was filled to the brim with awesome).

And poor Asuma (worries about him)!! I hope he's going to be ok... are you going to write a follow up thread?

Also, since I'm new here, should I just start reading from the beginning, or are there any really good threads/arcs I should read first? Also what's the name of the thread when Tsume gets injured? And last question; I would love to read a lovely angst filled thread with Kakashi in, which one would you recommend? (sorry about the questions!)

I'm not really sure what I should say now; definitely thank you - you provided two wonderful evenings of reading, possibly also congratulations - your writing is beyond amazing (are any of you published authors? Although actually that may be a bit of a silly question, if you are you probably want to retain anonymity), and finally hurrah! I have something wonderful to read!

Ana.

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Re: Why haven't I heard of this earlier?! -

fallen_ryouma, 2009-06-20 12:46 pm UTC

Re: Why haven't I heard of this earlier?! -

fallen_yanagi, 2009-06-29 08:17 pm UTC

Scarlet Spiral
(Anonymous)
2009-06-22 09:14 am UTC (link)

Hi! I'm pretty much new to the entire rp/fanfiction/writing on the interenet thing, my new best friend here at college is really into it though and she pushed me into reading the stories you have here at fallen leaves. They are truly fantastic, I really enjoy the way Kakashi is written and for the first time I feel interested in Raido and Genma, whom I had pretty mush dismissed as inconsequential filler characters when watching the anime. I just wanted to say that all the writers here are really amazing and that I'm glad that all of you have decided to share your talents. I'm definitly going to be reading a lot of fanfiction if there is writing of this quality available for all of my favorite series. I do have a question however, in several side posts and in your group homepage references are made to something called scarlet spiral. I followed the link but it led to an empty page. Is there any way to get access to that story line as well? I'm sorry that I can not leave a user name I have no account right now, if you wish to reply to me my email is ana.lopez@park.edu

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Re: Scarlet Spiral -

fallen_mods, 2009-06-23 01:28 pm UTC

All We Know Is That This Thread Was Great

silvercaffiene.livejournal.com
2009-06-22 09:35 am UTC (link)

RYOUMA!!!! KYAAA~~~

Oops. Okay, sorry. I was happy the moment I saw his name. XD

*grin* His entrance was hilarious. So adorable. His Ryouma-ness had me grinning all the way. Also. The bit about translocating directly into the hospital made me HAPPY. :D

And Ryouma hadn't been there to watch his back.

Kyaaa~ So lovely! That's the most beautiful first reaction, EVER.

The bit about the tissue masking Kakashi made me melt. Seriously. These small little things; what Ryouma does for Kakashi even when Kakashi technically can't feel it... as though is as much for himself as for him.. I'm really touched, perhaps especially because Kakashi is in a coma and he's just the type to come back from the brink of Death and be pissy about his face being uncovered. And Ryouma knows this.

PERFECT.

And Chihiro is AWESOME. Her manner and everything is so wonderful. The way she likens everything to what she had seen for Gousuke, and her direct return to Ginta in her thoughts in everything that happened...

This was amazing.

And Ryouma kicked the bed! Such a nice bit. After all, he is Ryouma. And Chihiro - her reaction was so apt, and really, a nice contrast to Ryouma.

The bit about Ryouma thumbing his nose, and everything was lovely. It was like this nice little peek into what makes dear Ryouma up, and it was a delicious, if not vaguely wistful bit.

Of course, she was Ginta's grandmother. She might flirt back.

Heehee. XD Ryouma, I absolutely love your thought process! XD I was grinning so HARD! The image is going to make me laugh for a Very Long Time...

So this rough young man was Ginta's friend.

Man, touching! Everything, from Chihiro and her assessment of Ryouma, to Ryouma's reaction to Ginta - it was lovely. So soft, so kind, so warm. That's how it feels.

Ryouma sitting on the floor also got me. Him sitting close enough to Ginta, and all - The whole Ryouma-ness (lack of better word...) is so wonderful. All these little details seeping in from the words and scenario really make this thread awesome.

Did they even realize how much time five minutes was, for a ninja?

Another epic Grin. Hah, really. This is another one of those Awesome Details I keep gushing over. XD

I want the you details, not the mission ones. How about a drink?

Ah, I like this bit, too. It just never occurred to me, until Ryouma spelt it out like that, with a distinction between the two kinds of details.

Also, Dancing *grins* Need I say more?

He's starting to look like a sheep-dog. Maybe I should give it a try. I could practice on you, eh?

*Yet another grin* The interaction between the two is amazing, and Kakashi-the-Sheepdog is really, really cute. :D

"Hey," he said, soft and fierce. "I'm glad you came back. Both of you."

Rounding off the SQUEE between Ginta and Ryouma, is this lovely, lovely line that makes me happy and warm and fuzzy. :D Because they're friends, damnit, and it's awesome.

And then Ryouma and Kakashi! The clone is wrenching its eyes from Kakashi! There are movies! Coffee! And AMAZING WRITING!

Okay, all in all~ This was lovely, as ever. The interactions, Chihiro, Yukari (They have really pretty names, by the way! :D ) And Ryouma. And bedside vigils! And inane chatter and making sense of the world!

I loved this!!~

:D :D :D

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Re: All We Know Is That This Thread Was Great -

fallen_ginta, 2009-06-23 01:32 pm UTC

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